Why I Hate the Word ‘Adulting’
Look, I get it. We’re all trying to be grown-ups here. But honestly, the word ‘adulting’ makes me wanna throw something. It’s so… I dunno, self-congratulatory? Like, ‘Oh look at me, I’m doing my taxes and buying groceries, I’m such a big kid now!’
I’m 42 years old. I’ve been an adult for a long time. And let me tell you, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. There’s a reason they don’t make a movie called ‘Grown-Ups 3.’ (Though honestly, that’s probably for the best.)
My First Real Adulting Fail
Okay, so picture this: It’s 2008. I’m 28, living in a tiny apartment in Camden. My then-boyfriend, let’s call him Marcus, is out of town. I decide, in a moment of what I thought was adulting brilliance, to clean the entire apartment. Like, top to bottom. I’m talking dusting the ceiling fans, scrubbing the grout, the whole nine yards.
So I’m up there on the ladder, wiping down the ceiling fan blades, and I lose my balance. I mean, I’m not falling or anything, but I have to grab onto the fan to steady myself. And guess what happens next? The fan starts spinning. With me on it.
I’m clinging to this fan like my life depends on it, which, frankly, it kinda did. I’m screaming, Marcus’s cat is freaking out, and I’m just praying that the fan doesn’t decide to go full tilt. Eventually, I manage to jump off, but not before giving myself a lovely shiner. And the apartment? Still a mess. Because, you know, priorities.
Marcus came home to find me with a black eye, the apartment in shambles, and me trying to act like nothing happened. He took one look at me and said, ‘What the hell happened to you?’ And I said, ‘I was adulting.’ And he said, ‘Well, stop.’
Adulting Isn’t About Checking Boxes
Here’s the thing about adulting: it’s not about checking boxes. It’s not about doing the ‘right’ thing all the time. It’s messy. It’s chaotic. It’s about figuring out what works for you, not what works for some arbitrary list of ‘adult responsibilities.’
Take my friend Sarah, for example. She’s a successful lawyer, owns her own home, has a great partner. But she hates cooking. Like, loathes it. So she eats out alot. And you know what? That’s fine. She’s happy, she’s healthy, and she’s not killing herself over some societal expectation that she should be whipping up homemade lasagna every Sunday.
I asked her about it once, over coffee at the place on 5th. I said, ‘Sarah, don’t you feel like you’re failing at adulting by not cooking more?’ And she looked at me like I was crazy. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I feel like I’m succeeding at adulting because I know my limits and I’m not gonna waste my time on something I hate.’
Which… yeah. Fair enough.
The Myth of Having It All Together
Here’s another thing that bugs me: this idea that adults have it all together. That we’re somehow these paragons of responsibility and competence. Newsflash: we’re not. We’re just figuring it out as we go, same as everyone else.
I remember talking to a colleague named Dave a few years back. He’s a few years younger than me, really put together guy. Always knows what he’s doing, always has a plan. I asked him, ‘Dave, how do you have it all so together?’ And he laughed. ‘I don’t,’ he said. ‘I’m just really good at pretending.’
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? We’re all just pretending. We’re all just making it up as we go along. And that’s okay. Because adulting isn’t about having it all together. It’s about being okay with the mess.
My Current Adulting Struggle
Right now, my big adulting struggle is… well, it’s kinda embarrassing. But here it is: I can’t seem to figure out how to fold a fitted sheet. I know, I know, it’s not a big deal. But it’s been bothering me for months. I’ve watched the videos, I’ve read the articles, I’ve even asked for help. But every time I try, it just ends up a big, wrinkled mess.
I told my friend Lisa about it last Tuesday. She’s one of those people who’s just naturally good at this stuff. She said, ‘Just give it to me, I’ll do it.’ And I said, ‘No, I wanna learn. I wanna be able to do this basic adult task.’ And she said, ‘It’s not a basic adult task. It’s a fitted sheet. Who cares?’
And you know what? She’s right. It’s not a big deal. But it’s become this symbol for me, you know? This one thing I can’t figure out, this one thing that’s just beyond my grasp. And it’s frustrating. But it’s also kinda funny, in a way. Because it’s such a small thing, but it’s become this huge thing in my head.
Adulting and Self-Care
Here’s something else I’ve learned: adulting and self-care go hand in hand. You can’t take care of other people if you’re not taking care of yourself. And that’s not some woo-woo, new-agey thing. It’s just fact.
I remember a few years back, I was going through a rough patch. Work was crazy, my personal life was a mess, and I was just… exhausted. I was talking to my therapist about it, and she said, ‘You need to take some time for yourself. You need to recharge.’ And I said, ‘But I can’t. I have too much to do.’ And she said, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’
And that stuck with me. Because it’s true. You can’t pour from an empty cup. And adulting isn’t about pouring yourself out for everyone else. It’s about filling your own cup first.
So these days, I make sure to take time for myself. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a long bath, or just sitting in silence for a bit. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary. And it’s part of adulting.
A Brief Digression: The Joys of Online Grocery Shopping
Okay, so this isn’t really about adulting, but I gotta talk about it. Online grocery shopping is a game-changer. I mean, I can order my groceries at 11:30pm, and they’ll be at my doorstep by noon the next day. It’s amazing. I don’t have to deal with crowds, or lines, or any of that nonsense. I can just sit at my computer, click a few buttons, and boom. Groceries.
And the best part? No more impulse buys. I mean, sure, I still end up with a cart full of junk food sometimes, but it’s not because I was tempted by a display at the checkout counter. It’s because I actively chose to put it in my cart. Which, honestly, is a kinda scary thought. But also kinda freeing.
Anyway, if you haven’t tried it, do. It’s a lifesaver. And if you’re looking for beslenme önerileri dengeli diyet, there are some great options out there. Just sayin’.
The Point Is…
I don’t know. I guess the point is, adulting is messy. It’s chaotic. It’s not about checking boxes or having it all together. It’s about figuring out what works for you, taking care of yourself, and being okay with the mess. It’s about laughing at yourself when you fall off a ceiling fan. It’s about asking for help when you need it. It’s about being kind to yourself, even when you’re struggling.
And it’s about remembering that it’s okay to not have it all together. Because none of us do. We’re all just figuring it out as we go along. And that’s okay.
So go ahead. Adult. But do it on your own terms. Do it in your own way. And for the love of god, don’t try to fold a fitted sheet. Just throw it on the bed and call it a day.
About the Author
Hi, I’m Emma. I’m a senior magazine editor with more than 20 years of experience writing feature articles for major publications. I live in London with my cat, Mr. Whiskers, and I have a deep love for tea, books, and sarcasm. I’m not perfect, and I’m certainly not always put together, but I’m doing my best. And honestly, that’s all any of us can do.
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